The tech crowd that doesn't care. But really does. Not really.

Hi Hipstersoft fans.  Not that you care, but I’m starting an advice column for our special community.  You can write me at Zoooey@hisptersoft (don’t confuse me with Zooey Deschanel, I have an extra “o” !!).  Here’s our first letter, which I received this week.

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Dear Zoooey,
I met a guy or whatever at #occupywallstreet and since we haven’t been able to maintain the network of protests after the ILLEGAL breakup of Zucotti Park, we made plans to go on a date.  He’s a unicycle-riding freegan who lives in Bed Stuy and I’m a nose-to-tail meatatarian whose body currently resides on my mom’s couch in Queens.  Any suggestions to what we should do (and please don’t sugget McCarren Park or 3rd Ward. Thankyouverymuch).

Dear #occupymyfirstdate,

Yours is nary the first love connection I’ve heard of happening over the movement of the year.  It seems many of our brothers without arms have met like-minded others.  It will be difficult to recapture the charge you felt in the drum circle, but that doesn’t mean that your connection wasn’t as strong as the orange mesh that encircled you on the bridge that day.  Nevertheless, proceed with caution.

Pre-Dinner Drink With Housemade Bathtub Gin

Start the evening with your soul date off right with a pre-dinner drink.  Most likely you keep a stash of housemade bathtub gin on hand for these occasions, but if not, I’ve provided my favorite take on the recipe here.  I prefer to serve this in a mason jar with hand-carved ice from a 1890’s ice bucket.  If you can’t find one from the 1890s, the 1910s will do.  Skip the 1900s.  Those things are crap.  

Freegan Dinner for Two

Since your moustachioed beau is a freegan, I suggest hitting some of the hottest dumpsters behind good eats in Brooklyn.   A personal fav is Pies N Thighs in Williamsburg, where if you’re lucky, you’ll get both the fried catfish and a slice of the pie of the day.  Also, since it’s family-style, you’re more likely to catch the leftovers…and perhaps a kiss while digging for them.

Dancing on the Subway

Forget the clubs.  Forget the speakeasies.  The latest place to get down without caring is on the subway.  All you need is your 1980s Casio, a collection of the hottest mixtapes, and some space to get down on the F.  

Good luck — and let us know how it goes!
David Duchovny Kisses,

photo courtesy of….as if we care.

Posted at 11:03am and tagged with: Advice, Crystals, one column,.