The tech crowd that doesn't care. But really does. Not really.

Dear Zoooey,

The other week, I was at SXSW.  I was supposed to leave after interactive, but really wanted to stay to see a few DJs that ironically wear tuxedos.  I used my work hotel room and claimed to have been too sick to fly back.  My boss caught me at one of the shows. She was totally pissed and I pretended to care, but I really don’t.  They don’t pay me enough or give me enough responsibility. I graduated six months ago! I’m not a baby!  Plus, I’m only doing this gig so I can start my organic rooftop bee farm.  I’ve been hiding out in my parents’ garage, but they found me and today is my first day back.  How should I handle this?


Dear Caught In the Act,

Yeah dude. That’s bad.  

Maybe this is a good opportunity to reevaluate your life.  My guess is you’ve been at this job a solid 3 or 4 months.  Plenty of time to put it on a resume and say you worked for the Man.  If you really want to be an organic, local bee farmer— JUST DO IT!  Or rather, JUST GO FOR IT (since I don’t want you to think the only way to be inspired is through insipid corporate slogans and marketing ploys).  

Gather your pals, find a space, and throw a killer opening bash.  Use your rooftop space to sae money.  Make some paper chains to decorate and light tea lights.  Pump in some buzzing bees remixed with fat beats.  Hey, maybe if you tell the DJs you stayed for what your plan is, they’ll play for free.  Cuz, who needs corporations anyway???!!!*

Kieran Culkin Whispers,

*Except all our wonderful current and future brand partners in the HipsterSoft family.  Couldn’t do this without you.
*Awesome photo,

Posted at 10:32pm and tagged with: zoooey, one column, crystals, advice, sxsw, organic bee farm,.