The tech crowd that doesn't care. But really does. Not really.

Dear Zoooey,

I have a confession to make.  It’s not something I’m comfortable admitting around my friends, and I just don’t know where else to go.  

Here goes.

I’m excited about the Hunger Games movies.  Not ironically excited.  Not “oh hey won’t it be SO funny to see this movie on opening night.”  Not “yeah, I could dress like someone in the Capital, but it would be because I was actually protesting economic disparity” excited.  I’m excited.  Like “can’t sleep at night because I’m counting down the days” excited.  Like “secretly bought a t-shirt already and it’s in my actual size” excited.

I’m not sure I’ve had a legit emotion like this since the final LCD Soundsystem concert…and then it was socially acceptable to break down and weep.  What should I do?


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Dear #legitexcitedaboutthehungergames,

First of all, you need to know that you are perfectly normal.  Many, many people have had this reaction to the Hunger Games.  The book has caught fire among all ages, races, and boroughs of Brooklyn.  How could it not? The story of Katniss, the girl of great strength, resolve, and something magnetic we can’t take our eyes off of?  Add that to a messy love triangle…and well, we’ve all spent a sleepless night or two popping artisanal adderall to see what happens.

Once you accept the fact that you are experiencing normal feelings that are socially acceptable, the next thing is NOT to freak out about the fact that this is socially acceptable.  Sometimes things are popular because they’re a big joke.  But, sometimes things are popular because it’s a damn good story and it preys on our human emotions.  

If you’re really uncomfortable, I have a few ideas you can use to return to your apathy.  

  • Turn on any Real Housewives franchise, but keep the sound off (lest you get hooked!) and create pretend dialogue for them based on their grimaces and long nails.
  • Watch a documentary about an issue that seems absolutely insurmountable and soul-crushing.  I’d recommend Food, Inc.
  • Buy some lanyard and make friendship bracelets.  You should be attempting to be transported to a time in your youth that you just can’t quite recapture.  

All these activities should remind you of the futility of the world and the fact that nothing matters, so why even try.

But, if these don’t work, just think: It’s ok to tap into that side of you that likes songs with melodies, hairstyles that look like they’ve seen the shower, and books that have a beginning, middle, and end.  We all do it once in awhile.

Bjork Nuzzles,

Posted at 12:17pm and tagged with: one column, zooey, crystals, advice, hunger games,.